Saturday, November 26, 2011

I love/hate Money!!!!

......u ..../ ....u.... /. u ...../ ........u ..../ ...u .../
A)The last day of the month with no money
.....u.. / ....u ..../ u ./ .......u..... / .u ...../
B)In my pocket only strove six receipts
.....u ../ u.. /...u ...../ .u. / ...u.. /
A)A million NT turn into penny
......u ......./ ...u ...../ ....u ...../ u..... / .u ....../
B)The house I dreamt is now a box on street
.........u .../ u.... / ......u ./. u ..../ ...u ../
C)When it is thick and I am lose for it
.........u... / u... / ...u ..../ .......u ..../ ....u ../
D)When it is thin so sad, depressed,afflict
.......u.... /. u ..../ ...u .../ .....u ...../ ...u .../
C)The restaurant so wide, no place to sit
.......u... / .u ../ ...u ../ ....u.. / ....u... /
D)My life is an empty meanu, athirst.

......u.. / u .../ .u... / ...u ../ ...u.. /
E)But it is useful like a key to me
......u..... / ....u ../. u ...../ ..u .../ ..u ...../
F)The door of Louis Vuitton is disclose.
......u ......./ ...u ../ .....u ...../ .....u ......./ .....u ../
E)The bright of me shine the whole York City
......u .../ ...u... /..... .u ..../ ....u ..../ .u ........./.... u ....../
F)All top models wear like the samples from my clothes

......u.. /..... u ...../... u... / ...u... / ...u....... /
G)Money may not be everything you need
.....u .../ .....u ...../ ....u ./ ....u.... / ....u ..../
G)If you have none of it, you lose, indeed!!!

4 comments:

  1. I really like the line "But it is useful like a key to me" The moment this line came out it simply defeated all the bad things about money prior to this line. I really like how strong this line is.

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  2. This sonnet reflects you as TIMMY!! You put your Own words in this sonnet which make it more lively. Great job Timmy. It seems like you have changed alot. Cough cough!

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  3. 14 lines: 5/5
    Iambic pentameter (+ labels): 8/15. I think you were pretty good here. Make those stresses match up with the word and maybe make sure they're pronounced right, but I think this isn't bad. (You can resubmit to get points back.)
    Defined rhyme scheme (+ labels): 15/15
    A "turn": 5/5
    Overall feel: 10/10. It really does sound like you :-)

    Total score: 42/50

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  4. Please give me points back Mr. Webb!!
    Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete